


132 Days

by FatalViolet520



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Idols, OT11 - Freeform, Or at least I'm trying to be, Park Jaeseok you've done well, With a positive ending, we'll always love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 13:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13296300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FatalViolet520/pseuds/FatalViolet520
Summary: 132 days. That’s how long Jaeseok stays with them as Golden Child.100 years. That’s how long Jaeseok will always stay with them.Golden Child is - 11 members. 11 boys carving through sand and stone and gold to etch their name in what they once thought would be forever.Except forever is 132 days.





	132 Days

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to get this out quick because I was feeling all the sadness and for anyone that hasn't heard yet, Park Jaeseok will halt all promotional activities due to his health from January 6th onwards. 
> 
> All I have to say is that Jaeseok, you've done well. I remember you saying that you were sad you couldn't call us since we didn't have a fandom name yet, but Jaeseok, we all love you so much.

###  _This is for you -_

_For everyone that fights silent battles no one else knows,_

_Just know that I will be there for you and_

_You will always have a home to return to so_

_Tell me you’ll get better, my love_

 

* * *

 

132 days. That’s how long Jaeseok stays with them as Golden Child.

 

100 years. That’s how long Jaeseok will always stay with them.

 

Golden Child is - 11 members. 11 boys carving through sand and stone and gold to etch their name in what they once thought would be forever.

 

Except forever is 132 days.

 

On the morning of the 130th day, everyone wakes up to delicious, hot food and a pale-faced Jaeseok sitting clammily at their table.

 

“Is it someone’s birthday?” Jangjun jokes, trying to make lighten the tense atmosphere, “Jaehyunnie’s birthday was yesterday, hyung, you’re a bit late -”

 

“They said yes,” Jaeseok breathes out, cutting across Jangjun, staring into his lap, “They gave me the okay. They said - I should - focus on my health - health - and I’ll be - hal - _halting_ promotions with - with you guys.” And no one can breathe.

 

Donghyun drops his chopsticks, hands trembling like a leaf in a hurricane, and his lips part to form - _something_ , _anything_ , because surely _this wasn’t real it couldn’t be no no no -_

 

“I - I’m _sorry_ -” Jaeseok manages to choke out, curling inwards on himself, “I didn’t mean to - I - I don’t - _I’m so sorry -”_ Then he bites his lip and starts crying, hiding his face in the sleeves of his hoodie, still stuttering out apologies when he shouldn’t be apologizing.

 

Because it’s not his fault.

 

It’s _no one’s fault_.

 

“No, Jaeseokie, _it’s okay_ ,” Daeyeol hushes among everyone who’s trying to clamber over chairs to get to Jaeseok, and somehow or other they end up in a pile, “We promise. It’s gonna be fine.”

 

“Yeah!” Youngtaek says, even though his eyes are red already, “You’ll be okay. I know you, hyung. You - You can always return anytime you want. You - You need to get better now, that’s what most important.” He squeezes over to hug Jaeseok as tightly as humanly possible, and it’s a sign of how distressed Jaeseok is that he doesn’t protest how much his ribs hurt from being pressed that tightly together.

 

Above him, Sungyoon smooths a palm over Jaeseok’s forehead. “Get better soon, Jaeseokie. Take care of yourself, for once.” He cracks a small, pained smile when his gaze meets Jaeseok’s watery ones, and says, “You’ll always have us to return to, Jaeseokie, I swear. We’re forever and always your home to come back to.”

 

Joochan falls into Jaeseok’s lap this time, loudly proclaiming, “Hyung! You’d better come back soon! Look -” He gestured around the room vaguely and points at the food, “No one’s gonna be able to cook like that. We’ll all starve to death and eventually we’ll end up seeing you at your house to get you to cook for us. Hyung, you’re not escaping us. Ever.”

 

Jaeseok laughs slightly at that, recovering slightly, and Bomin edges the second youngest out to get his own word in. “That’s right. You still have to yell at me when I burn the food and make sure no one gets food poisoning when I try to cook.” He wraps his arms around Jaeseok. “But, really, hyung, it’s okay. Golden Child will always be 11. It doesn’t matter when, where or what, we’re always 11.”

 

“Look at you, being all serious for once,” Seungmin says, and for once, he’s looking down at Jaeseok, “Though he’s right. Jaeseokie-hyung, it’s not your fault.” He states firmly, and it’s echoed several times around the room, “Your health should always come first. You can leave for months and years and you will still always be able to come back, because we’re always 11.”

 

“As long as you don’t lose your ring like Seungminie,” Jangjun chimes in, having being eerily quiet for the past 20 minutes as everyone clamoured, “We - We’ll miss you, hyung.” At this, Jaeseok’s eyes grow watery again, and so does everyone else’s in the room, “We’ll never forget you. Who’s going to shout at Youngtaek when he leaves his clothes all over the place? Come back soon, hyung. We’ll all wait for you, even if it takes a long time.”

 

Here, Donghyun looks up and unsticks his throat. “You’ll always be my favourite hyung, Jaeseokie-hyung,” And the room explodes, with Jaeseok laughing at the open admission, and the rest of them complaining loudly at the blatant favouritism, “Come back quick.” He throws his arms tightly around Jaeseok’s middle, relishing in the last time he’ll smell the warm fabric - like home and love, Donghyun thinks - for a while.

 

“You _promise_ , hyung?” Jaehyun says, acting like he hasn’t turned 20 yesterday, “You promise you’ll come back to us?”

 

Jaeseok gives him a watery smile. “I’ll try my best. You guys give all my love to the fans, alright?”

 

“Hey,” Jibeom suddenly says, “Remember when you said you couldn’t call the fans by their fandom name? Promise you’ll contact us when the fandom name comes out? I’m sure everyone would love to hear you call the fans.”

 

Daeyeol steps in. “No one’s going to blame you, Jaeseokie,” And his mouth crinkles into a gentle smile, “You take time off and focus on your health. Everyone will be sad for a while, but soon we’ll all start hoping.” He reaches over, resting his hand on Jaeseok’s shoulder and continues, “Don’t burden yourself by thinking of what you could have done. Everyone wants you to get better, so don’t worry.”

 

And just like that, Jaeseok can breathe. On the 133rd day of Golden Child ( _and the first day that it’s the 10 of them and the first day that Jaeseok feels like he’s missing something because he’s so used to 10 other voices bothering him_ ) the fans get to know that he’s left.

 

The result?

 

Overwhelming support and love and it’s _amazing_. They haven’t debuted for long, haven’t selected a fandom name, but support pours in from around the world, fans using a special hashtag to show that they’re sad, but they’re understanding, and all the posts and comments are similar -

 

_Get well soon._

 

_You did well._

 

_Golden Child will always be 11._

 

_We love you, Parkjumma_.

 

And that’s okay, Jaeseok thinks, meeting his mom outside his company building. Today, he’ll go home and rest and work on his health. Today, the rest of Golden Child are practicing again, working hard on a comeback that’ll make them better known. Today, the fans will mourn and grieve but still support Golden Child, and hope that tomorrow will have a future that is the 11 of them.

 

That sounds about right then, Jaeseok mulls when he drinks his tea - he’s banned from coffee for a long, long time - since he’s come to known Golden Child as 11, and 11 they will be soon enough.

 

It doesn’t matter, he reminds himself, doesn’t matter if he takes 2 comebacks or 20 comebacks to return to them as Golden Child’s Jaeseok, and it doesn’t matter if he lives the rest of his life as Park Jaeseok.

 

Because the past 132 days have been the best of his life, and it’s impossible to forget it.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone that wants to talk, my tumblr is fangoddess817.
> 
> To Park Jaeseok, it's been the best 132 days I've ever had.


End file.
